Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Don't Date Someone You Wouldn't Marry

I've heard it so many times, "don't date someone you couldn't see yourself marrying". I even saw it on Pinterest just now pinned to a young girl's "quotes" board.

For a long, long time, I lived by that. I didn't want to date anyone I couldn't see myself being with forever. And you know what? That kinda screwed me up.

No, I'm not saying you should go date weirdo, bad boy Joe Schmoe for the hell of it (but really, why would you do that anyway?), I'm just saying that puts so.much.pressure. on a relationship.

As many of you may know, Drew and I started dating in 8th grade. Yes, 8th grade. Like, our dates consisted of movie nights at our houses or walks to the park. We couldn't drive, didn't have money to go out and were mostly bound to our homes.

Anyway, as many of you also know, our relationship has hit many rough patches. Honestly, I didn't see myself marrying him until probably about a year ago. Yeah, for seven years, I didn't see myself marrying him. I knew I liked him a lot, but I wasn't sure we would be compatible forever.

Growing up ... life from ages 14-22 is hard. I mean, we left the school we went to for nine years, we went to high school, we played sports, we chose a college, we went to college. We grew up and the whole time, we were trying to stay together. That's not easy for anyone.

And one reason it was much harder than it needed to be, was because I was so focused on whether or not he was the one. Like I said, I knew I liked him, but would he be a good dad? would be be a hard worker? would he love me forever?

Let's be real, it's really freakin hard to tell if a 16 year old is going to be a good dad, it's hard to tell if a 18 year old is going to love you forever. I wish I would have spent a lot more time just having fun and a lot less time worrying about if he was going to be my forever - and breaking up over me thinking he wouldn't be.

If I would have never dated the 14 year old I thought might not be my husband, I wouldn't be with the person I'm pretty confident is going to be my forever now.

All I'm saying is, don't put so much pressure on yourself. You don't know if the person you are going to date will be your forever. And if you're lucky, if you're like me, you may be surprised.