I haven't told anyone about this besides Drew & Jessie because in all honesty, I'm embarrassed by it. But, I also think it's pretty funny & I think it will
totally freak you out too make you laugh so here it goes.
I wrote last week about Milo who I've recently started babysitting & how Milo has a newborn brother, Oliver. Do you remember? Well I'm blaming all of this ridiculousness on Oliver. Sure he's only 2 months old, but that's the issue. He's so cuddly and adorable and sweet, it makes my ovaries hurt.
I guess we could also blame some of it on the fact that I started playing with baby dolls when I was still a baby myself and didn't stop until I was nearly a teen. I kinda wish my mom would've listened when my dad told her I was too old to get the baby doll I asked for at Christmas when I was 11.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I had a very vivid dream about this baby I had. He had lots of brown hair & one of those pacifiers in his mouth that are green & round & the hospital gives newborns. I woke up in a panic. How will I ever be a mom? How will I make sure that my kid uses their manners, is nice to other kids, is an upstanding citizen and everything else every mom wants for their kid? I laid there thinking about it for a long time. I even posted about it on Facebook.
Things kind of calmed down after that night but only until we went to Disney World, where there are cute babies, toddlers, & children every where you look. Drew even asked me if I was still taking my birth control. For the love of all that is holy. I would NEVER stop taking it, are you kidding? But I can see why he would wonder. I pointed out every single cute kid. every. single. one.
I've been desperately trying to make these thoughts go away, but last night was when I realized I really had a problem.
I was on the treadmill telling myself that I have to stop thinking all of these domestic thoughts. I'm only 19, I have a long life to live, this is ridiculous. And then the next thought I had? Someone farted & it smells like baby formula.
Now before you go reporting me, or stop following, know that I am not crazy. I love babies and children and all of the sudden I love them
a scary amount even more. Never in a hundred million years would I take the necessary steps to make bringing a child of my own into the world possible, not for a long time.
I'll just avoid babies and farts that smell like baby formula for now.