Monday, August 20, 2012

Back to School & Feeling Good

You know that saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? Well, I think it's really true. I'm not sure why but I feel like I was given one million tests this summer - one million difficult situations & they just kept coming like a dodgeball game in which I was continually dodging fast-flying balls & more often than not, I was getting hit.

I had one of the darkest days of my life this summer; a day when I felt like I had lost all control - like my world was spinning and I had no way to stop it and no hope but to just hope it slowed down on its own soon. As always happens, the sun came up on the next day and I was already healing but nevertheless, it was hard.

I went through a real break-up. I say real because there have been a lot of times when we've just kind of faked it but this time was real as in we didn't talk at all. And that came after six years of really growing up together. It was really hard & really not fun but I feel like I had a mental & emotional growth spurt that really needed to happen during that time.

Also, this summer was the first time I ever had a real job. I worked forty hours a week in a corporate environment that was very challenging. It was serious business there and some people weren't that friendly. A lot of times it felt like survival of the fittest & I was brand new with very little guidance. But on one of my last days there, someone who worked near me told my mom she never knew I was having a hard time there because I walked in every day with a smile and held my head high and then on my final day I gave a presentation that exceeded everyone's expectations. A couple days after I left, one of my articles was published on the company website.

Now, I'm back at school and I'm feeling really, really good.

First of all, I feel like after working forty hours a week? Fifteen hours a week of class is going to be cake. CAKE. And I feel more self-aware and confident than I ever have. This summer, I let go of my security blanket - Drew - and it was the best thing I've ever done for myself because while it scared the hell out of me, it taught me that I'm okay by myself and I'm strong.

I've heard lots of times that you don't really know who you are until you're 30 which could be true but I feel like emotionally & mentally, I fast-forwarded like five years this summer from where I was when I left Butler in May.

I've taken on a lot of responsibilities for this year with school and being the Ad Manager on our newspaper at Butler & the Photographer for Student Government and the Member Relations person for Public Relations Student Society of America but I'm so ready.

I'm taking on this year with a whole new mindset and I'm ready to tackle it & rock it.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger & I'm definitely stronger.


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