Thursday, October 13, 2011

It's okay to admit it.

It's okay to admit you're overwhelmed sometimes.

I think that's something we, as women, often forget. All Most of us were born with a natural instinct to help. That's why women become moms. God knew what he was doing there. And sometimes? we try to help too much. And sometimes? We lose ourselves in the midst of that.

I think it's really important to remind ourselves that it is absolutely okay to say we're overwhelmed and actually, it's vital. 

I was laying in bed about midnight a few nights ago when I knew I had, had it. I had spent days agonizing over the trouble my friends were in & I simply was in over my head. Right then, I texted my best friend and told her I didn't think I could talk to anyone else about any of it. It's not that she was asking, but just that I wanted to tell her that I knew I was getting overwhelmed. I knew if I told her it was time for me to go see the therapist I haven't seen in a couple years, I would actually do it. & last night, I did.

& that therapist told me something I think we should all remember, and one I should probably tape to my forehead.

"You can't rescue everyone, Ali", she said, "if you want to volunteer, work at the animal shelter, but you can't rescue people".

It was kind of funny but also so true.

Often times, I get so wrapped up in other people's issues that they almost become mine. I get consumed by them, by how I can help, by what they're feeling. It's not a good thing.

As I was leaving she reminded me to be on the sidelines and listen if my friends need it, but not to consume myself with it. To do things for me because the only way I can help is if I'm at the top of my game. And I can't be at the top of my game if I'm suffocating in other people's problems.

So I want you to remember this too.

No matter how big your heart is, no matter how much you love people, you can't rescue them. 

Like my mom said, when you fly on an airplane, they tell you in case of a crash, put your oxygen mask on first ... think of this situation like that ... you need to put your oxygen mask on before helping anyone else.

If you need a break, take it. It will help everyone in the long run. 



Unknown said...

You're so right & so is your mom. You can't do everything & fix everything. However, people {like you} with a big heart can't help but want to.

Chillax little one!

Vanessa said...

You're very wise and so is your therapist. When I read your blog I feel like I'm reading what I would have written 15 years ago. Learn how to let go of others' issues now otherwise you're going to be the one getting hurt. Don't internalize too much. It's just not good for the soul. Easier said than done, I know. You're a smart girl though. You'll be fine. <3