Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I'm just gonna say it.

You know what? I'm just gonna say it. I believe in traditional gender roles in the family.

I'll go ahead and let some of you stop reading now because I know how unpopular this statement is in a time when most of what we hear is quit the opposite.

Before you start thinking that I'm just your typical, middle-class, white-picket-fence, american, I'll tell you I'm really not. I mean, I guess I'm middle class and yeah, I'm american but my mom has always been the breadwinner, my dad found another woman & eventually my parents got divorced. So these ideas don't come from experience per se.

But actually, I guess they kind of do.

These ideas also come from the bible and from observation.

When I say I believe in traditional gender roles in the family, I don't mean the man necessarily needs to be the breadwinner but I do mean he needs to be the leader in his family. A godly leader, of course. And while the woman can definitely bring home the bacon, I believe she still needs to respect her man and treat him as the leader of the family. The kids need to be kids and the parents need to be parents.

When I say these ideas kind of do come from experience, I mean I've seen what happens when these roles are totally flipped and it's not good. It's not good when the man feels emasculated by a wife who leads the family. It's not good when the wife feels like she has no support and no rock behind her. It's not good when the kids don't respect a parent because the parents don't respect each other. It's just not good.

I believe the bible is true and I don't think God ever made mistakes so when he said in Ephesians that a man should be the head of the household, I think he meant it. When he said in 1 Timothy that a wife should submit to her husband, I think he meant that too, but I don't think it has the negative connotation we give it today. When God made men strong and women nurturing, I think he knew what he was doing.

I was kind of surprised by these conclusions myself, as I had always identified myself as more liberal but I think we can have a little of both, no? We don't need to be all conservative or all liberal.

I'm never going to judge people who don't practice traditional family roles; it's definitely not my place to do that. But this is what I believe and what I think works for me.

What do you think about traditional family roles in a time when they're so frowned upon?



Anonymous said...

I totally believe in traditional roles, and want that in a husband. I want him to have a backbone and be a leader.

Melissa DeLong said...

Mine has nothing to do with faith, but I absolutely love the traditional roles in the household. I don't mind changing them up now and then (it's nice to come home to a clean apartment!), but primarily, I prefer for my husband (which I can say now!) to be the leader. We consult each other and make decisions as a team, but I still prefer the traditional roles.

The end :)

jess said...

i'm extremely liberal, & i don't think there's anything wrong with traditional gender roles ... in fact, i think that most liberals would be fine with traditional gender roles.

i find issue with the idea that it absolutely has to ALWAYS be that way no exception don't even ask because no way!

but i don't think that's what you're saying ... you're saying this is what you believe & what you want & that's totally cool! it will work for some, it might not work for everyone, but that's why we're lucky: we get to choose how it goes.