Thursday, March 10, 2011

The switch

I've learned something about myself lately & that is, I have a switch. 

I'm pretty compassionate & usually, if someone's pissed at me, I'm gonna admit that I messed up, apologize & then feel horrible about it until the problem is solved.

The same is true of people who aren't nice or friendly. I'm constantly looking in the mirror. Am I talking too much? Did I say something that offended him? Is he upset that I didn't pull over & talk to him when I saw them walking yesterday while I was driving? (ok, not quite, but pretty close.)

I worry. I worry about things & mostly, I worry about people. & I care. I care to a fault.

Hmmm ... her Facebook status seems a little funny, I wonder if she's okay. I'll write her a note & check. She didn't answer in 2 hours. Oh my gosh, is she mad at me?

You get the point. 

This can go on & on & on. Someone can be shitty to me over & over & over again & yet, I'll still wonder if it's me.

& then it happens.

My switch gets flipped. & all of the sudden, I simply don't care. It's not that I'm mean to the person, but it's that I don't care if they like me, or if they don't. Nothing they say or do can hurt my feelings. I'm over it. 

It's happened a couple times lately. Two different people have upset me over & over again while I continually tried to be better, to fix the issue. Then all of the sudden, out of the blue, a day comes when I simply don't care anymore.

& in all honesty? Once that switch flips, life is better for everyone. I'm less stressed & worried about the issue & the other person usually doesn't care. He almost always comes back after a while & tries to smooth things over, which makes me kinda feel like, "Ha! too little too late, brotha". The "coming back around" hardly ever changes things. 

I have a switch that stays ON for a really long time until one day, it flips to OFF & the switch is stuck. There's no goin' back.

Do you have a switch? How do you deal with people or things that upset you?


Aly @ Analyze This said...

I think a lot of us have switches! Mine goes from being so helpful, energetic, loving everyone to leave me a lone. I fear that when people don't call or text back that they are mad ... I also take things people say (That are usually innocent) to heart!

I thought I had issues, but I think EVERYONE goes through this!

Sophie said...

i know what you mean. but i rekon my switch has just been off since end of high school and now im just not worried about being everyones best friend. i would rather have a handful of friends who i know where i stand with them rather then loads of people i hardly know.
i lovee you blog, so happy i found it..i am following :) x